by Jennifer George – Staff Writer

When the plastic handle of my jack-o-lantern broke, my 7-year-old dreams of a bucket full of candy at Halloween were dashed. Out to the work bench he went. My father returned and proudly handed the repaired jack-o-lantern to me saying, “I can fix anything but a broken heart.” A hero was born.

So now my 87 year old father, who was raised during the Great Depression and flew B-17 Bombers in World War II, continues to teach me lessons about growing up and growing old. His favorite line, borrowed from Mae West, is “Growing old is not for sissies”. My father has slowly lost the ability to function on his own and is confined to a hospital bed. Thanks to his devoted caregivers, he still leads an active life traveling on cruises and attending jazz festivals.

Through it all, he has taught me lessons about how to live life. No matter what obstacle comes your way, there will always be a way to achieve your goals. Perseverance is not just about winning the race, it’s about how you deal with the challenges along the way. He may have never fixed a broken heart, but his example of fortitude inspires me to never give up. This heartwarming compilation are reflections from local contributors of their lessons learned from Dad…

“My father has given me a lot of advice over the years, not all of it solicited. Key phrases stand out in my memory when I think about his advice like his favorite phrase, “Life is full of peaks and valleys.”

All of his words served me well through the years but there is one thing he told me that will always stand out over the rest. I was heading off to college and my dad and I had lunch one day. He took a napkin, wrote two words on it and told me to put it in my wallet. At the time, I thought it would have been more helpful for him to have given me some money for my wallet, but all I got was a folded-up cocktail napkin. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this iced tea stained piece of paper was worth so much more than any green piece of paper with a presidents’ face on it. It read, “Risk Failure.”

Is there anything harder than risking failure? My life has been full of risks, some successes and some failures but in either case, at least I tried. My dad taught me this and he has probably kicked himself at times that I took it to heart, like when I decided to study theatre in college or when I wanted to open a restaurant. Two words gave me permission to try whatever I had a passion for: Risk Failure. That’s how I roll. Thanks, Dad!”

—Ashley Van Camp, Chef/Owner, Ashten’s Restaurant

“My dad was an avid gardener. If there was any open space, my dad planted something. As I look back, many of my life lessons came from our experiences gardening.

One afternoon after supper, dad said we were going to “hoe the beans.” I did not want to “hoe the beans” and devised a wonderful plan to get out of it. As we worked our way up the rows of green beans, I began to dig up the third or fourth green bean plant. My dad never said a word. When we finished the first row, I looked at my dad and he said, “That row needed thinning, you did a great job.”

Oh well, so much for my plan. My dad taught me how to work in the soil. He taught me when it was too wet to till, how to use the right amount of fertilizer and to work the ground so that it would be right for a bountiful harvest of vegetables. As a child, this did not make very much sense to me.

Today I am a Pastor. In many ways, I see myself as a “pastor gardener,” preparing the ground to plant seeds of Faith, in hopes that they will take root.”

—Pastor Scott Homesley, Our Saviour Lutheran Church

“Whether it was coaching t-ball, going fishing, offering career advice, or just hanging out, Dad has always been available. I realize now that it was never about who caught the most fish or who won the game, it was the time together that mattered the most. Even at his busiest, Dad always made time for me. Now that I’m a father, I even more appreciate the example of fatherhood my Dad has provided me, especially the value in making time for faith and family in our hectic schedules of daily life. I continually draw from the lessons he taught me as I raise my family and my girls are blessed to also learn from Granddaddy many of life’s most valuable lessons.”

—Bill Pate, Attorney at Law, Poyner Spruill LLP

“Growing up on a farm in Hadley, Mass., Dad taught me to work, be committed, loyal, take care of family, friends, and neighbors. He valued common sense the most. As Daddy’s girl, we spent time together in his real estate profession and in his role in town politics. I learned to type his reports, read blue prints, walk the town boundaries and attend many of his meetings. This is where I felt that real estate was going to be my interest and career. Now that Dad is gone from my life, I remember him fondly with many great memories of time spent together!”

—Eileen C. Malan, Realtor, RE/MAX of the PINES

“Being Polish, all the men in the family have the nickname “Ski.” My father was always called “Ski” when I was growing up. For father’s day one year when I was in middle school, my mother sat my father and I down and gave us each a wrapped present. It was a set of three head covers for each of us. Dad’s head covers had “Paula’s Dad” on them, and mine had “Little Ski.” No female in our family had ever been called that name before. It made me really proud to be my father’s daughter. Every time I see them, I smile. We are always together that way. When I was little, I was always my Dad’s shadow. Then the roles were reversed when I was a player with dad following me on the course as my caddy.

—Paula Brzostowski, Club Pro, Country Club of Whispering Pines

“For several years now, my father has been taking care of my mother who is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. His everyday nurturing impacts three generations of women: my mother, my daughters and me. I’m grateful to him for caring for my mother, as well as teaching me and my daughters many lessons about compassion and familial commitment. It’s easy for a parent to expect their child to “Do as I say, not as I do.” We all know, however, that it is from our actions that they learn most indelibly. I appreciate my father for the lessons he has spoken. More importantly, I am thankful for the quiet activities he undertakes every day, which have taught me more about life than any lecture or book ever did.”

—Malaika King Albrecht, Poet

“Among so many things, my father, still living at age 88, taught me through his words and actions, to love people with the utmost of respect no matter who they are.

My grandfather had had a stroke and there was an African-American male nurse named Melvin taking care of him. We were getting ready to sit down for the Thanksgiving meal when father looked at the table and noted that “we are one place setting short.” My grandmother’s brother said, “no, we have just the right amount, because Melvin is eating in the kitchen.”

My father said, “That’s not right. Melvin is part of the family and part of our Thanksgiving. He needs to eat with all of us.”

Melvin dined with us that Thanksgiving. My father exemplified courage and inclusiveness of all people, and I rejoice that I could inherit that spirit. The wisdom he imparted to me and others is a reflection of the God to whom he was always faithful and who spiritually shaped his life with love and gentle compassion.”

—Dr. Mark Wethington, Director, Moore Free Care Clinic

My father, my lighthouse,

Standing tall in the cape of my life,

His wisdom, a beacon I use as a guide,

His love, a light shining without fail,

Directing all the ships I set sail.

Offering my broken heart a safe harbor,

My pillar of strength weathering storms,

My soul defined in his martime map,

Tears of mine wash up like whitecaps,

His helping hands steer my heart’s bow,

Timesless is the love of my father, my lighthouse.

—Carrie Frye, Editor, OutreachNC magazine

“I adore my dad. He is fun to talk to because he is knowledgeable about so many topics. He is an avid reader and has an uncanny ability to remember details. He is the best partner you will ever have in Trivial Pursuit!

He taught me how to swim and took me fishing at Gilmore’s Lake when I was little. He is devoted to his family and friends, planning family reunions months in advance. Once, he planned his own birthday party. He had such a good time; he planned another party for the ones who couldn’t attend the first one. He didn’t want to miss anyone. My father is my hero!”

—Caroline Hodgkins Eddy, Executive Director, Sandhills Coalition for Human Care