The ‘Sandwich Generation’ is not a group of folks who happen to prefer different kinds of sandwiches — PBJ, grilled cheese, panini, pita, etc.

Instead, it’s a group of people who find themselves caught between two other generations. Usually, the ones in the middle are trying to meet the needs of those older and younger than they. Sometimes grandparents form the top layer. Sometimes it’s parents. Sometimes it might be a person from your extended or blended family. Wherever they fit in the definition, the people in this layer are those who count on you for help. It may be financial assistance, it may be caregiving need, it may be emotional demands.

Those in the middle layer are the sandwich filling which most of us consider the best part of a sandwich. They are holding the top and bottom layers together. Sometimes this bond is rather loosely constructed. In other cases it’s a closely knit link. The type of connection will determine the action needed.

On the bottom of this generational sandwich are our children or grandchildren. For some people, they have a double portion, caring for both their children and their children’s children.

Baby Boomers were the first to really define this phenomenon. Family and friends caring for each other is not a new thing. For centuries, generations have taken care of each other. What makes the difference is that we have changed. Our parents are living longer; we are having children at an older age; grown children are returning home for a roof over their heads and help with life’s demands.

A few years ago (or was it decades?) I announced that if this was the sandwich generation, then I must be the peanut butter. I felt as if everything was sticking to me and I had to take care of everyone’s needs. My mother was in failing health, my daughter was a teenager and I was a working journalist with regular deadlines that had to be met. I had a husband whose job required a lot of travel time away from home. Juggling various wants and needs was a daily event. And, as in most sandwiched cases, the one in the middle gets squeezed the most.

Personally, most of these demands have now worked themselves out and I survived more or less intact. I learned a great deal from the experience: you can’t be all things to all people and hope to maintain a stable, fulfilling life for yourself. On some days, you need to make choices about which need will be taken care of first. And I’ve learned that the world does not stop the day you choose your own life as your top priority. When you become overly stressed, you really aren’t much help to the other parts of the sandwich. Stress makes us do all sorts of things that we know are not what we really want. Stress contributes to many diseases which might not have come our way otherwise.

“Stop and smell the roses” seems like such a trite, overused phrase, but it has real meaning. No matter which part of the sandwich you are, learn to take time to stop and enjoy.